♡ ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE WORLD ♡

THIS MUSE IS A RECOVERING DRUG ADDICT/ALCOHOLIC, AND AS SUCH THIS CARRD WILL BLUNTLY AND FACTUALLY MENTION SUBSTANCE ABUSE THROUGHOUT.
[ GMT ] ㅤLAST UPDATEㅤ : 01 JUN 2020BEST VIEWED ON DESKTOP

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ㅤPART 001ㅤ : AN EPITAPH IN PROSE.
ㅤPART 002ㅤ : SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.
ㅤPART 003ㅤ : DAVIS MOTOMIYA.
ㅤPART 004ㅤ : MOST YOUNG KINGS.

WARNING: themes of parental neglect and loss of a sibling present in part 1, along with a non-specified traumatic event alluded to. part 3 details a sexual abuse victim confronting their abuser.

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♡ ㅤ6 MEMORIESㅤ

UNO.it's not as if anybody has ever paid much attention to him, but this is the first time cory has ever felt alone.he sits in the doorway, legs outstretched into the sun outside. thin and lanky, showered by kisses by the carribean sun, leaving freckles behind and discolouring the bruises on his knees. christmas time in one of the osada family's holiday homes has never felt so off. someone is missing.thirteen years old and depressed on christmas. have you ever heard of anything so tragic? further out in the yard, there's a rare moment of tenderness as brooklyn learns how to ride his new bike. for the first time, seweryn osada pushes brooklyn around sans-training-wheels. karina oh watches with a silent, faraway look on her face. she's beautiful like a film actress and her red lips betray her cold glamour with a smile as seweryn lets go and brooklyn takes his first ever un-aided cycle around the grass.brooklyn never looked anything like adam. cory was his double. as seweryn and karina begin to play the role of loving parents to their youngest child, cola understands that, for the rest of their lives, he and brooklyn will always be two very different types of reminder of what has been lost.DOS.often, cory finds himself longing to just sit in adam's bedroom. often, he'll run into karina there. that makes him angry.he wants to raise his voice and scream. he wants to tell her that she never wanted him anyway, never wanted any of them. he wants to tell her that it's not enough to pretend. pretend to miss adam, pretend to love brooklyn. it's not enough to make her a good mother. but cory never does, never even gets to start talking. ever since she came home from the hospital that day, she'd never been able to look him in the eyes. cory looks like him.whenever cory enters the bedroom. or any room. she leaves.it's not about him, and he's always been a clever child. he's clever enough to understand. but it still doesn't numb the sting whenever he thinks about the fact that his mother cannot bring herself to look at him. it doesn't medicate whatever it is he feels in his chest when he hears karina and brooklyn next door, brooklyn sniffling and crying for his oldest brother, karina's hushed whispers of comfort, promising their hearts will stop hurting soon. it doesn't do him any fucking good to understand, not when her shadow passes quickly by his bedroom door. she doesn't even check in.he knows that whenever he's in adam's bedroom, karina is waiting down the hallway for him to leave. cory can be spiteful. he stays as long as he can. it's usually around three hours before the need to pee starts to hurt, and cory had never tried to go back after he's left. the second time karina goes into adam's bedroom is always when she begins to cry. cory won't watch that.he deserves to mourn more than she does.TRES.cory had always taken a special pleasure in reading books. he could probably recite the entire harry potter series by memory (children like him were destined to place far too much of their identity into their relation to hermione granger,) but by fourteen he's worked his way through a vast amount of the classics too. the only time he's ever gotten a low grade in english was because he plagiarised emily dickinson from memory. and so, after a year of his parents doing all they can to avoid dealing with him for too long, when he starts failing english to an extent that the school calls home, he'd think his parents would take notice.he'd think they'd understand what he was trying to do. he'd want them to sit him down, have a long talk, find out what was wrong with him. he'd hope they'd at least care. he'd settle for a punishment.they hire him a tutor.QUATRO.please, don't make him recall this part.CINCO.we'll say he's been away from his family for a while. it can be left at that. a year has passed when he's reunited, and everyone whispers when he passes, so when everything is taken care of, the osadas agree that they need a fresh start.they leave brooklyn behind. the place. not the brother. obviously, they bring him.it's a fresh endeavor for his mother, too, despite her korean nationality, she'd never placed stilleto on her country's soil since she'd been shipped away in her infancy. south korea is new for all of them, and none of them will ever fully adapt. they'll do their level best to try, though. and cory will be enrolled in international school, a year behind his age group due to all the time he'd missed. nobody will ask uncomfortable questions, nobody will gossip, and a boy in his class will turn to him and smile. cory will say hello, and the boy will say his name is jetaime eun and beg to be called jet.SEIS.jet loves to make music like cory loves to read. cory is fascinated by that, fascinated by the way jet tells him music can be stories. cory has a lot of stories he needs to tell, and he writes them to jet's melodies. some of them are kind of heavy, but his favourite ones are silly. cory tries to rap, sounds a little okay at it. and he likes this form of humour, he likes the set up and adores the punchline. jet's a little better at it than he is.sometimes they'll make a song that will make them laugh until their sides threaten to split in two, and cory won't feel so alone. those songs make him feel a little more like the child he deserved to be. he thinks that it makes him fall in love with jet - it doesn't. it's music he's falling in love with."wait." cory hesitates, just before jet pushes upload. they're about to share their songs for the very first time. it's just to make it easier to show their friends. they'd never imagine anybody else would care. but still, cory says;"i think i should use a different name."

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♡ ㅤPASSAGE TAKEN FROM A 2017 MEDIA INTERVIEW.ㅤ

there are multiple colas.most relevant to the media’s interest, there’s the otherworldly cola. like a moving instagram picture. made up and rocking brands. covered in glitter and distant, self aware enough to get away with his provocatively artsy tendencies. then, with the presence of what one may consider a nostalgic friend, is online cola. ever present on twitter, he crops up every pink moon on mixtapes and soundcloud gifts, cracking jokes and giggling. swamped in riot grrrl band t-shirts and recording rhymes in his bedroom. relatable, and funny enough to run the risk of becoming a parody. on hold, waiting for a fight, is a-game cola. this is the weapon that you’ll be held to if you ever dare to come for him. he’s a hearty mix of both previous cokes, thrown in a cauldron and stirred in with a heavy dose of vindictive mockery. then there’s studio cola- we’re blessed with this cola as we arrive. dressed more casually than one has come to expect, circular glasses pushed right the way up his nose and he works harder than any teenage boy who’s nearing four years of fame would be expected to work.“i got all the partying out of my system too early.” i’ve asked him if it’s all work and no play for cola these days. it must be true. they may have left recent public memory, but in 2015, year-old photos swarmed of a sixteen year old cola drinking at a club. considering his former residency at kid flash- an underground nightclub located underneath a comic book store, it was standard to see the underage rapper around the club scene. there’s a difference between performing and partaking, however. and cola had just resurfaced from the spectacularly fast major rise and major fall of boygroup peridot, which took him from internet personality to public figure. a teenage public figure? that’s a role model. and sixteen year old boys who are role models cannot be seen drinking alcohol in clubs.and thus, the internet held it’s breath. what on earth would he do next? surely, with his career in the air so early on, he’d spiral out of control, right? a spears-esque breakdown was on it’s way for us to consume and exploit, right?well, no.in the midst of the media frenzy, he released his mixtape, the sext pixels. shortly after, he signed a contract with rnn entertainment, and cracked on with recording his first full album. of course, people like cola are naturals at attracting attention, and his career has certainly not been without scandal. but the complaints- explicit lyrics, 19+ rated music videos, have done little to drown out the fact that cola has so visibly worked his ass off- improving his musical skills, be it rap, vocals or production. he’s been so busy practising that the darkly entertaining, theatrical downward spiral that everyone was waiting for never came.“the night is still young.” he laughs. “but right now, i haven’t gotten nearly enough number ones to pull it off."the remark makes the point that i’m sure he knew it would. cola is a "scandalous” figure, but one that lives in a controlled level of controversy. he cringes at the words “shock value”, but it’s undeniable that with every sexual and/or vulgar word, every misappropriated christian icon, every mocking jab at a slight-senior, more and more people go to hear the source material for themselves. and when they realise that containing the lyric in question is a solid, catchy song, they don’t realise that they’ve been tricked into becoming a cola fan until it's too late.it’s with this information that we meet the fifth cola. in fact, he’s not a cola at all, but rather cory osada. the center of the russian doll. he’s the one painting the masks, and the one slipping the amber flags into songs that he’d otherwise claim were written by any of the ‘characters’ from which he writes his songs.in the context of a casual interview like this- somewhere where cola clearly feels at ease, it’s easy to pick up on cory lurking behind the facade. underneath the giggling, the nonsensical tweets and foul-mouthed jokes is a very clever young man- one who was met with opposition as fierce as the sun and, rather than burning, installed solar panels. it’s an intimidating thought. what’s funny is, when just about any interviewer meets a powerful or intimidating figure, they note that they expected them to be bigger. in the case of cola, i’m taken aback by his height. it's not that he's particularly tall, but he's an average height, shoulders level to mine with forearms i could fasten my thumb and index finger around. he is, in fact, a human being. seeing cola- no, cory, in person, i begin to relate him to boys i knew in school. we all knew boys like cory in school- they’d smoke at the gates with little regard for getting caught. read fancy books with foreign titles, star in school plays with a little hint of irony- too cool to be there, but also to cool to deny themselves of hobbies they find fun. boys like that were destined to do stuff like fabricate personalities under which to release pop-genre concept albums, and cover themselves in glitter and label themselves a starlet.in a silent kind of way, it opens up a whole new topic. i relay to him that, often, people-on-the-internet’s first question when seeing his behaviour would be to ask, 'where are this boy’s parents?’ the words cause cola to flinch.“i-” is all he says, eyes darting towards the manager at the door- who, earlier in the evening, had advised me not to let cola talk about taylor swift or politics. “i don’t tend to talk about my family to the press."it’s a statement of the obvious, and so instead of pushing, i redirect my line of questioning. cola’s whole niche makes the most sense when you consider that he was born in coney island. he seems to carry a lot of pride in his birthplace, and it’s intriguing to find out how big an impact the idealistic childhood backdrop has had an influence on his style and music."it’s quite a pretty place to have a childhood, but obviosuly, it’s not one big theme park. i wasn’t in that environment 24/7, but i think that it did influence my music a little- of course, the carnival rides and neon signs and prize tickets are pretty good aesthetics to draw from. but in those same parts of coney island, you also get places that sell curiosities like shrunken heads and fiji mermaids. and there’s still freak shows there. i had an obsession with that kind of thing as a kid.”
so, what type of way do freak shows and shrunken heads inspire a song? lyrically?“no… more, like… i rarely get inspired by other people’s music when it comes to what i want mine to sound like. it’s more like, images and settings, and funny little objects like shrunken heads- they give me "vibes.” and then, i’ll try to recreate that vibe musically. i kind associate different sounds with different images, or colours. so, because of that, when i produce a beat, it’s like i’m trying to paint a picture. lyrically- sometimes i’ll follow a format. on f5abb5, i was very strict on myself to format my songs like pop songs should be formatted, because i wanted to make a very pop record. but usually, it’s very stream of consciousness. i’ll usually write down a word or phrase and base my beat and melody around it, and then write the song last. it’s sort of a tricky process to explain.”i ask, once more, maybe cheekily, if he spent a lot of his childhood at the theme parks with his parents.“i would go with my brothers. they weren’t really around- and no, you haven’t caught me out. i’m saying no more. you won’t trick me.” he waves a cherry red fingernail in my direction, impish grin as he pretends to scold.of course, cola will not be tricked- as established, he’s a lot smarter than he comes across. it’s a thought that makes me wonder- are there really multiple colas? maybe, rather than handpainted personas, what we’re seeing are simply the different facets of cory osada's personality- a young man on the verge of adulthood. one who likes glitter and fashion, and is funny and wears riot grrrl shirts, and can weaponize his mean streak to defend himself, and who works hard and sometimes wears glasses instead of contacts, all at the same time. perhaps he really is just one of those boys we knew in school, one who’s smart enough to keep us second guessing that there’s more to it, when in fact it’s primally simple.unless you can read cola’s mind, there’s no way of knowing. the only thing that’s certain is that whatever he’s doing, he knows, it’s on purpose, and it’s working.

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♡ ㅤAUGUST 2019.ㅤ

"davis motomiya. still taking your fake name from that fuckin' cartoon. how'd you get a good enough fake id to get in here?""i have friends in low places."really, it was easy. his life had revolved around sneaking into places he wasn't supposed to be. clubs, vip sections, fancy restaurants. now he can add prison visitation areas to the list. he was great at making up lies, forged relations and make-believe personalities. all davis motomiya was doing was making use of his day off to visit his uncle-not-by-blood. what reason was there to suspect that he was faking? that every aspect of davis motomiya was farce, secretly cola, pryde of the four boroughs, back in his hometown yet an ocean away from home? he'd flown in from incheon at 5am in the morning with no luggage, leaving nothing but a futile note asking kyujo not to worry to explain his disappearance. his to-be husband was almost definitely worried, but cory hadn't brought his phone, either. he didn't like keeping kyujo in the dark, not one bit. but he also knew that kyujo would kill him if he knew what he was doing."what are you doing here, cory?"cory takes a seat, opposite the monster under his bed. james morrison (nickname jim) was, of course, uncle to no-one. as far as cory knew, james had no living family left. he wasn't anything. he had been a moderately handsome young man with horrific skills in manipulation and a truly evil brain. now he's pale skin and sunken eyes. carelessly shaved stubble and greasy hair. cory looks at james morrison, (nickname jim) looks at him and thinks to himself that he's the ugliest thing he's ever seen. and also the weakest."i wanted to look you in the eye." james can't look cory in the eye, though. it's clear by the way he fixates first on the table, and then cory's hand, and then the pink diamond on his finger. "i won. i got my happy ending. you didn't beat me in the end. i'm going to start a new life. my own family with someone who loves me. so i'm killing off all my demons and i wanted to look you in the eye.""congratu-""shut the fuck up."there's a pregnant pause. james sits back on the plastic chair they've been provided and stares at cory's chin. still can't look up, so cory looks away. for a second, his eyes wander to the family next to them, a family visiting their father; infant son giggling like crazy as his dad tells him a story. pathetic fallacy. james breaks the silence."when i saw that davis motomiya was requesting me to put him on my list, i thought that maybe you'd forgiven me."he's as well slapping cory in the face, for the look he gives him is about the same. "i will never forgive you." cory spits, venom and poison."i... i was twenty-""i was fourteen!" cory hisses, keeping his voice low enough for the guards watching over the visitation room not to hear, leaning in closer, but only so he can lower his tone. "i was a child. you- you fucking. you took me away from my family. not even that, you convinced me to come, because you made me believe they didn't love me. i was a child and you made me believe my family didn't fucking love me.""it wasn't exactly paradise in the nuclear family-""they did love me. the lost their son and they didn't know how to grieve and they didn't know how to cope but they loved me. they still love me. you made them think they lost another- and for what? that's what... i sit up at night and rack my brain over this. why? why did it have to be me?"james stares at him, vaguely though, without reaching his eyes. something is bubbling in there, something unreadable. finally, he says, "i don't need to listen to this.""yes, you do. you owe it to me to-""i don't owe you shit." james snaps, fist hitting against the table. his mouth curls up into a grim frown, and cory sees the monster again. so what? he's defeated plenty of monsters, by now.cory laughs humourlessly. "you owe me your fucking life, james." he shakes his head, pinky scratching his eyebrow. "i never told anybody the full extent of what you did. but you know what they do to men like you in here. men like you who do what you did to a kid. you owe me everything. and i've been afraid of you for eight years. it's your turn to be afraid.""i'm not afraid of you, cory." james says, meeting his eyes."you should be. i have friends in low places." cory says. "i came here because i wanted to look you in the eyes and tell you. someone is coming for you. i want you to know i sent them." cory scrapes his seat back, ready to stand. james steels his gaze but cory knows him well enough to know. james morrison (nickname jim) knows what cory is capable of, behind all the dollie smiles and glittery cheeks. james doesn't know shit about who cory is, but he knows damn well how dark things can get.“you owe me your life.” cory repeats as he stands, looking down at james once more. he says, voice hushed, as the guard approaches to escort him out; "i'm taking it."

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♡ ㅤJULY 2020.ㅤ

so, an alcoholic walks into a bar.or, rather, a club. and it’s broad daylight, closing hours. cory has the keys; and a sense of comfort washes over him the second he steps foot in kid flash.he thinks it’s because nobody can touch him here. kid flash is cory’s palace to be highness in. more than any viral youtube video or subsequent record label; kid flash was the birth of Cola, for better and for worse. it had been a while since he’d been here, sobriety making it difficult to spend time in a nightclub; and yet it hadn’t changed at all. glitter covers the floor, and cola stands at the altar of the dj booth and looks up at the huge, ridiculous oil painting of l:oveless as religious icons hung on the wall behind it. he blows it a kiss, as is tradition; and he thinks about how sunnie is his friend now and his life has changed so immeasurably since he was fifteen years old playing his first gig here.he thinks about locking eyes with migum in the crowd, sharing cigarettes with him out back. cola had sold the club owner enough of his prescribed ritalin to ensure he and his friends’ ids would go unchecked until the day of their eighteenth birthdays. he thinks about him and migum, and jet, who is his own pandora’s box of complicated emotions, and he thinks about paris and liesl stumbling in their stiletto heels. he suspects they’d danced to more britney songs than britney herself. they’d had an unconventional childhood, sure; and maybe not an appropriate one. but he stares at the idols on the wall; so otherworldly and unattainable, and thinks about how his friends had all drank the kool-aid and joined their ranks.he’d gotten everything he’d ever dreamed of, and yet he misses cigarettes with migum. first kisses with jet. screaming girls generation lyrics with paris until their voices give out. concocting evil plans to scam male clubgoers out of their salaries with liesl. sometimes he forgets that his life was perfect more often than it wasn’t.sunnie staring down at him has always been comforting. the stage is opposite to the dj booth, and he remembers looking at her portrait before his first performance and thinking “please, don’t let my voice crack.” he gives her a smile and heads on to the dressing room.he skips every chair in the tiny little box of a room, and he sits instead on the windowsill. if kid flash is his palace, this is his throne. a hundred little black circles line the unpainted wood of the window frame. cola had been using it as an ash tray since his first day here. he takes the cigarette from behind his ear and lights it with the pink lighter he’d picked up from the convenience store on his way here. it was his first cigarette in three years; and hopefully will remain his last. he knows he’s undoing a lot of progress. but better this than a drink, and in his defence, the path ahead of him was rocky.cola had been slaying monsters his whole life. but the next beast was behemoth. if cola was going to stand up against two of the most influential companies in his industry, he deserved one smoke.he takes his phone from his pocket and is greeted by a text from koushiro; the only ‘grown up’ to ever fully trust his vision; the only grown up to ever let him be a kid, and the closest thing he had to a real parent.“give ‘em hell, kid.”cory’s head rests against the glass of the window, and he opens his music app and searches his own name; and he plays his own song. that song. the one that started it all. his whiny, teenage voice tells brooklyn to get out of his room- an accidental recording that had become one of his most famous samples. he closes his eyes, takes a deep drag from his cigarette and listens to the kid on the recording. he remembers the day itself; laughing with jet until their sides hurt, he remembers the bursting excitement when one of them thought up what they thought was a particularly clever rhyme and the other loved it just as much. he remembers hitting upload. he was proud of this song. excited to show his friends at school. he never thought more than ten people would hear it.and there it is again; that strange pang of longing and pain. who knows where he’d be had that song not gone viral. he’d be graduating university, maybe. he’d always planned to go back to america after high school and study english literature. and it’s conflicting, because he feels robbed of a life and yet all of his fondest memories could not exist and all of his best friends could not know him had he not been rebirthed into Cola.the song ends with his teenaged self ad-libbing nonsense through a cloak of laughter. cory thinks how much fun he had been having, and he opens the letter he’d written- all of the pain he’d went through in this industry, his unfiltered anger and his demand to be treated with respect, to be paid for the work others had made millions off of. if there was ever any hesitation to post it, the sound of his own laughter drains it away.cory promises his younger self that he’ll finally be as brave as he used to be. he promises to get justice for him. to get something, be it physical or mental, to get some sort of reparation for the way the industry had beaten the youth out of him in such a vicious way. he’ll make them pay for turning that laugh into a rarity for as long as they did.cory finishes his cigarette, adds another black mark to the window frame, and presses send.

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♡ SKELETON.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ cindy this is a skeleton this is bones

♡ PHYSICAL.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ pretty face but don't make me get sinister

♡ HEALTH.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ big boobs? what?

♡ FAMILY.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ running with my roots pulled up

♡ CAREER.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ if you got a check, i got a talent

♡ FAVOURITES.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ boys & their toys & their 6inch rockets

♡ PERSONALITY.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ cause guys love those . . .

EVERY BOYFRIEND IS 'THE ONE'
(UNTIL OTHERWISE PROVEN)

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FORMER GROUPMATES [MALE - 96 OR OLDER - 2/5] The five former members of Peridot. These muses debuted in a group with Cola in 2014, and despite achieving mass success, disbanded early in the following year. See more in the 2014 and 2015 sections of the Career page. Please message OOC for more info, as there are a few requirements and future plans for the group.LEAD STYLIST [ANY GENDER - 97 - 0/1] A former classmate of Cola's during the short period he attended international school in Korea in 2013. While they would have definitely made acquaintance with Cola during school, they would have just been casual friends. They'd already be working as a stylist by 2017, when Cola would have found out about their work and recruited them to style him for his 'ICON' era. Upon the formation of Chapel, he hired them as his sole stylist, and they'd also take the position of lead stylist at the company, putting together teams and providing insight on the other artists. As this is such a specific plot, I would require a lot of plotting beforehand!**MAKEUP ARTIST & HAIRSTYLIST ** [ANY GENDER - ANY AGE - 0/2] This plot is much more open, and when they would have started working with Cola is entirely flexible and up to the mun, as is any work they outside of working with him.**3RD GEN FRIENDS ** [ANY GENDER - ANY AGE] I'd love for Cola to have more friends who debuted around the same time as him, from 2012-2014. As it's just ordinary friendships, there aren't any requirements.**PROTEGE ** [ANY GENDER - 98 OR YOUNGER - 0/1] A young and somewhat new artist, preferably a soloist who's sound isn't too far from Cola's, who he takes under his wing and offers guidance to, and enjoys collaborating with. Almost becomes a muse for him. Doesn't neccesarily have to be signed to Chapel. This plot would obviously spawn a close and meaningful friendship, but would never develop into anything romantic or sexual.**1 NIGHT STANDS / FWB ** [MALE - 99 OR OLDER - 0/1] People with whom Cola has casual sex with, either once or regularly. Note that Cola generally does not feel comfortable being intimate until a trust and friendship is developed; however he is good at keeping sex with friends casual without developing romantic feelings. While this plot is open to muses as young as 21, Cola mostly finds himself attracted to people his own age or up to a few years older. This plot does not have to culminate in writing smut, but despite the fact I am content for the sex to happen 'off-screen' it's still not open to underage muns (under 18.) At all.

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SINCE 15 IT'S BEEN A REAL ASS WHIRLWIND !